Random Candy One-Shots
by uneducatedwriter
Summary: As the title says, one-shots revolving around one of my favourite ships in South Park, Candy (Cartman/Wendy) just because I love the idea of them being together. Rated T just in case.
1. Chapter 1

**let's just imagine for the purpose of this story that the kids are all at least a couple years older and Mr Garrison is still their teacher, mmmkay?**

* * *

It was no secret that Eric Cartman was bored shitless. The endless droning of Mr Garrison's voice didn't help his boredom, nor could he care less about what that faggot teacher had to say about whatever latest news there was on Paris Hilton, or whoever the fuck he was talking about.

Not that he cared at all.

The resident fatass of the class sighed and leaned his chin on his hand and looked over his shoulder, where one of his closest companions and one of the biggest arch rivals in his life, Kyle Broflovski, sat next to him, where he could be seen listening intently to every word Mr Garrison was saying while writing notes down on his notebook in front of him, as per usual.

The Jew boy never seems to change at all even in the slightest... something Cartman both loved and hated immensely about him. He still wore the same hideous orange and green parka and ushanka hat to hide his awful jewfro as he had done since they met in pre school. He was still a fag with Stan, and Cartman often convinced himself that they were secretly making out every time he and Kenny weren't with them. It was one of his favourite things to rip on about the pair of 'super best friends' and Cartman loved it when Stan would get all flustered and try to defend his and Kyle's honour...like he totally _didn't_ have the hots for Kyle at all.

Cartman rolled his eyes as he saw Kyle lean over and whisper something to Stan, who looked over at Cartman and then back at his best friend as the pair chuckled quietly.

 _Stupid asshat faggots._

Cartman gritted his teeth and glared at the jew boy as Kyle simply smirked in return.

He decided to turn his attention to the person sitting on his left...his other main arch rival, Wendy Testaburger. Kenny McCormick, who was probably Cartman's best (and only) friend, had unfortunately died earlier that day so she took the liberty of sitting in his seat for the time being.

For as long as Cartman could remember, the pair had constantly been at each other's throats since kindergarten. They argued over every little thing and Cartman was always trying to piss her off one way or another (and vice versa). If he wasn't ripping on his favourite Jew boy, you were more likely to find him near Wendy cracking crude jokes which he _knew_ would aggravate her.

 _Stupid democratic hippy ho,_ Cartman thought as he watched her write some notes down from Mr Garrison's lecture.

Suddenly, Cartman grinned as he leaned over to Wendy when Mr Garrison's back was to them, and whispered, "Pssst, Wendy."

No response.

Damn, he'd have to try harder than that.

"Wendy, hey, Wendy, pssst! I've got something really, really, _really_ , important to tell you!" Cartman whispered desperately to the black haired girl.

Still nothing.

Cartman was beginning to get frustrated. She was obviously doing her best to ignore him. He noticed how hard she was gripping her pencil now, and he grinned as he tried the very last thing that he knew would guarantee a response:

"Thought you should know, Stan's cheating on you with Bebe Stevens."

Bingo.

Wendy turned to face Cartman with a murderous expression, which simply made the fat boy smirk as his second goal of the day was achieved.

"Eric Cartman I swear to god you fucking fatass!" Wendy Testaburger stood up from her desk, Mr Garrison suddenly turned around and the entire class was staring at the pair of rivals.

"Oh no, here we go again," he heard Kyle say to Stan.

"What? I never did anything," Cartman smirked at the black haired girl.

Wendy glared furiously at the fatass, getting right up in his face as she spewed every ounce of hate she had in her at him. "Why do you have to be such a fucking dickhead all the bloody time? Why must you annoy me every single chance you get? And Stan isn't fucking cheating on me with Bebe so don't go around saying stupid shit like that you dick face!" Wendy was furious, she couldn't move, and stood rooted in her spot glaring at her arch rival.

She heard Bebe gasp from her seat next to her, and Stan quickly joined in as well. "What the hell Cartman? Why would you say that?"

Cartman was happy. He was on a roll today-pissing people off seemed to be his specialty.

"Cartman, you little asshole. Go to the principle's office-you too, Wendy," Mr Garrison informed the pair.

Wendy looked shocked. "What? But Mr Garrison-"

"Now, Wendy."

She turned and glared at Cartman again. She gathered up her things, and before she left the room, Wendy flipped him off and said, "fuck you, fatass."

Cartman simply smirked as he followed her out of the room.  
"You wish, ho."

* * *

 **so i've been a bit invested in the Candy pairing lately..ok i mean a lot invested that i felt like starting my own series of one-shots or whatever based on them bc i freaking love these two together.**

 **idk where i'm honestly going to go with these one-shots, so if there's something you'd like to see for the Candy ship/have an idea, feel free to PM me or whatever.  
** **  
~thanks for reading! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**i kind of had an idea for this over the weekend, where Cartman and Wendy somehow end up getting locked in a closet together, and ... stuff happens. hope you guys enjoy :)**

* * *

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Wendy Testaburger was _furious_.

And who was the source of her problem?

Eric Fucking Cartman.  
Of _course_.

It always was him who got the pair into some wacky scenario, which often led them into a few awkward situations…but none was as awkward as it was now.

It probably wasn't the _best_ idea to get locked in a broom closet together, let alone them being locked in the broom closet in Wendy's _own fucking house_ , and to top it all off—her parents were away for the weekend, thinking she was a responsible 17 year old to be left alone, and nothing could possibly go wrong.

Boy, were they stupid.

"As soon as we're fucking out of this closet, I'm kicking your fucking ass _again_ and I'm not holding back!" Wendy growled, jabbing a finger into the fat boy's chest.

Cartman just glared back at the raven-haired girl. "Yeah, bitch—I'd like to see you try now that I'm bigger and stronger than you!" he smirked victoriously as he _knew_ Wendy was stumped.

It was true, over the past few years, Cartman had shed most of his fat and begun to train so he could later join the football team along with Stan, Kyle and Kenny, and become the (now) starring quarterback for the South Park Cows.

"I'd still wipe the floor with your ass," Wendy snapped at the asshole.

Cartman simply flipped her off, which just added fuel to her fire.

"You know, we wouldn't even be in this situation if it wasn't _your_ fault," she got up in his face, which wasn't hard to do since there wasn't that much room in the small closet, which meant they had to sit Indian style on the floor—knees touching knees.

"My fault? Fuck you, ho. I wasn't the one who didn't realise it was a self locking door when you practically threw yourself at me earlier on…" Cartman replied, remembering the heated argument that occurred not too long ago, which was the reason why they were even locked in Wendy's parent's closet in the first place.

Wendy's face turned red, which made Cartman smile. "I did _not_ throw myself at you, you dick!" she poked him in the chest hard, as if to prove a point. "Why do you have to be such a fucking asshole all the damn time?" Wendy sighed and she sat down again, cross-legged on the floor.

"It's my speciality, _babe_ ," Cartman drawled, stretching out his arms (as much as he could, at least) as he joined Wendy on the floor.

Wendy looked pointedly at him.

That was one of the reasons why they had ended up in this situation—or at least, the main reason why they were arguing at all.

Things had been complicated between her and Cartman lately. He had been, at least according to Bebe Stevens (her best friend) trying to get her attention. This was something Cartman definitely did _not_ do on a regular basis. He did not normally start so many arguments with her just to see her _especially_ mad, mad at him, and he did not purposefully seek her out during lunch to rip on her for being a hippie, or for being with a hippie if Stan was sitting with her…that definitely did not mean anything when it was Eric Theodore Cartman.

So of course Wendy went to the only person she trusted with a situation like this, and Bebe's reply had been: _"Oh Wendy, I can't believe you didn't notice it before. Everyone else at school can see it too—I mean, it's obvious that you and Cartman have some serious sexual tension!"_

Wendy's face turned bright red at the mere thought of having sexual tension with a person like Cartman…

"Something on your mind, ho? Thinking about your hippie boyfriend?" Cartman interrupted the awkward silence.

Wendy tried to look away so she could hide her bright red cheeks. "N-no. Besides, what does it matter to you who I think about?"

"It doesn't. I could care less about you," Cartman said in a relatively dismissive way, and half turned his face away from her so she couldn't see his expression.

"Good," was all Wendy had to say. "I still hate you."

"At least that's one thing we both agree on…" Cartman snorted.

Another awkward silence engulfed them once more.

Wendy can't stand silence. She's relieved when it's Cartman who speaks again first.

"I swear to God, someone better fucking come and rescue us soon. I'm going to die of hunger in here, and I'd rather you not be the last person I have to spend my final hours on this shitty planet with." Cartman speaks bluntly, which surprises her.

"Stop being dramatic for once. I'm supposed to go on a date with Stan in a few hours. He's going to pick me up, and he always comes inside to—" but for some reason, Wendy stopped mid sentence.

Cartman took notice of this. "To what? To get a little something-something from you before he pays for your food?" he raised an eyebrow as he spoke.

That had apparently hit a nerve with Wendy, as she suddenly slapped Cartman hard across the face.

This had not been a wise decision, as Cartman returned the favour, and slapped Wendy even harder, leaving a nasty red mark on her left cheek. Her eyes started to water as the pain and shock from being slapped by Cartman kicked in.

"You think I wouldn't be a fucking sissy like Stan or those other guys and hold back on hitting you just because you're the _weaker sex_?!" Cartman raised his voice slightly at her.

"You are such a fucking _cunt_ Eric Cartman!" Wendy yelled furiously, one hand still clutching her red cheek.

"Takes one to know one, bitch."

Wendy had never possibly hated someone as much as she hated the boy sitting in front of her in her entire life. "God, I can't believe Bebe actually thought…" Wendy shut up as soon as she realised what she was about to say.

"Thought what? Please enlighten me on what that slut Bebe _("She's not a slut!")_ had to say."

"It's nothing," Wendy said quickly, immediately regretting saying anything in the first place.

"If it's nothing then surely you'd have no problem to tell me."

She was caught. He knew it as well, and Wendy took a deep breath before saying, "Fine, Fatass. According to Bebe, and the rest of the school for that matter… she says… she says…that you and I have some serious sexual tension."

She tries hard not to look at Cartman.

"…Don't we, though?"

This response catches her off guard, and she stares at him with her mouth partly open.

"I-" but before she knew it, Cartman's lips had suddenly found hers, and he was kissing her with such intense passion and anger, it was like any feelings for her that Cartman had kept bottled up inside of him all these years, had finally come pouring out.

After a few moments, Wendy broke the kiss and stared in disbelief at him.

Cartman, however, just simply smirked triumphantly at her, and said, "you're welcome, ho."

"Fuck you, asshole."

Some things just never change… and for that, Wendy was glad.

* * *

 **i feel like this should have a second part. maybe, who knows? anyways, thanks for reading! More to come soon :)**


	3. Chapter 3

"Truth or Dare?"

It was pretty childish, but for some reason Bebe had suggested that they all play the game at her party on Saturday night, almost all the boys and girls from Wendy's class were playing, so she thought, screw it, why not have a bit of fun for once?

"Dare."

Wendy wasn't trying to act brave when she said dare, but she immediately regretted the choice when Bebe smirked evilly at her as she sat there and thought for a moment.

They had never exactly been the best of friends as of late, so Wendy was certain she'd pick something extra horrible just to screw her over.

"Have sex with Cartman."

Wendy couldn't move. She was frozen to her spot on the floor in the living room, she could hear people talking but didn't understand what anyone was saying.

"W-what?" Wendy croaked weakly.

Bebe smirked again and folded her arms, "You heard me, Testaburger. Have sex with Cartman. I dare you to seduce him."

"You can't do that!" Stan had stood up from his spot next to Wendy and Kyle, angered by Bebe's response. "She's my girlfriend!"

"Okay, if you don't want to do that then… you can take Butters instead. Your choice."

"That's still equally as bad! Even worse since it's Butters!" Stan spat at Bebe.

Wendy frowned, then stood up and marched across the room to Bebe, who was now standing as well. Bebe's blue eyes sparkled mischievously while Wendy's brown ones were filled with anger and hate.

"Fuck you, Bebe. You know what, I'll do it. I'll seduce Cartman and have sex with him if that's what it takes to wipe that little smirk off your face!"

Bebe was in her element. She just simply smiled at the girl that was once her best friend, and said, "Yeah? I'd like to see you try."

Wendy flipped the blonde girl off, and then walked over to Stan. "Stan, you know this means absolutely _nothing_."

Stan looked appalled. "What? So you're actually going to… _do it_ with Cartman? How _could_ you?"

 _I have to prove Bebe wrong_ , she thought. "Stan, it's either him or… _Butters_. What would you do if you were in my position."

 _Now to find the residential Fatass,_ Wendy marched through the hallways of Bebe Stevens' house, where you could find many of their classmates either high, or wasted, or both… if you were Kenny McCormick, that is.

"Yeah, Token! Right in the cup!"

It wasn't hard to find him at all, apparently. He was in the kitchen playing beer pong with a bunch of guys Wendy didn't really know too well.

Token, Clyde, Cartman, and a few other guys from a different grade were cheering Token on as he downed a cup of vodka. Cartman was next to him, with a beer in his hand, laughing at some joke Clyde had told.

"Cartman."

Cartman continued laughing as if he hadn't heard her.

"Cartman!" she said again, only louder.

Still no response.

"FATASS!" Wendy yelled, standing right behind him. He turned around, staring angrily into Wendy's eyes. They were so close their noses were almost touching.

"Aye, bitch! Don't call me fat, I'm big boned!" Cartman retorted.

The guys from another grade had disappeared, and Token and Clyde were entranced by some girls dancing in the middle of the living room—one of them being Bebe, who apparently kept turning her head every few moments to try and get a good view of them.

"You just ruined our game of beer pong, you dirty ho!" Cartman growled at her, as he downed the rest of his beer in one easy gulp. "What are you doing here, anyway? Got tired of your whiny ass boyfriend?" Cartman leant back casually against the kitchen bench, arms folded over his chest.

"N-no. I just thought…" Wendy stopped talking, and glanced over her shoulder to where she saw Token practically grinding against Bebe on the dance floor. "…I just thought we could spend some time together, is all."

Cartman stared at her in disbelief. "What? You're willing to spend time with _me_? Eric Cartman? The one you hate most?" he then put a hand on Wendy's forehead as if to check her temperature. "How much have you drunk?"

Wendy's face flushed as she felt Cartman's hand make contact with her skin. She was only doing this to prove the slut Bebe wrong.

"Apparently not enough…" she muttered, as she folded her arms and leant against the bench beside Cartman.

Cartman grinned at her and raised an eyebrow. "Well why don't we change that then?" he said, his eyes sparkling. He unzipped his jacket to reveal a bottle of vodka he'd snuck from Bebe's father's alcohol cabinet, which he found when he was snooping around in the basement an hour ago.

Wendy hesitated for a moment. She wasn't like other people in her grade that loved to get completely wasted at every single house party, but as she glanced around the room, she saw everyone having the time of their lives—even Butters, who never got drunk at parties, was the star of the dance floor, but the poor kid didn't seem to realise everyone was laughing at him and recording him dancing on their phones…those videos surely would be on every kid's snap chat stories & Facebook timelines the next day.

"Oh, fuck it. What's a few drinks going to do?" Wendy said finally.

This made Cartman smile. He grabbed a couple of shot glasses from the bench, then grabbed Wendy by the arm and dragged her downstairs to the basement, away from all the noise upstairs.

"W-hey, where are we going?!" Wendy exclaimed as Cartman pulled on her arm.

Bebe's basement was huge. It was almost like a whole other living complex, fit with a guest bedroom, bathroom, and living area. There were a few kids, mainly couples, from their school sitting around the large space, chatting quietly amongst themselves.

In one far corner she spotted Craig and Tweek sitting together, laughing about something.

"It's quieter down here, ho." Cartman said as he sat down on the carpeted floor and placed the shot glasses and bottle of vodka in front of him.

Wendy joined him, still slightly confused. "What are we doing exactly?"

"Since you love sissy games, how about we play Never Have I Ever? Only with shots of vodka," Cartman explained.

Wendy eyed him. This was so unlike Cartman, to be willing to spend time with her like this, but she didn't question it since he wasn't being his usual hateful self.

"Fine. But I get to go first," Wendy exclaimed, and grabbed her shot glass from Cartman, and then she poured the clear liquid in each of theirs. They sat cross-legged on the ground, their glasses in front of them, facing each other.

"Never have I ever… kissed someone I shouldn't have."

Cartman downed the glass of vodka in front of him.

Wendy raised an eyebrow. "Care to share?"

"Bebe," he said simply. "The slut was totally messed up one night and she practically threw herself on me."

"Wow, I knew you had low standards but I didn't think you'd sink _that_ low." Wendy replied.

"What? I was only taking up on her putting out," Cartman grinned at her as he filled up his shot glass again. Wendy rolled her eyes. "Now it's my turn. Never have I ever... smoked pot."

Cartman rolled his eyes. "Jesus Christ, ho… could you ask easier questions?" he then downed another shot of vodka.

"Where on earth did you get pot in _South Park_?" Wendy said, as she handed the bottle of vodka to Cartman so he could refill his glass.

Cartman looked up at her and simply said, "Kenny."

"Of course…" Wendy sighed.

"Okay. Never Have I Ever had sex before," Cartman continued with the game.

Wendy hesitated briefly, but then she picked up her shot glass and drunk the clear liquid in one go. She could feel the effects of the alcohol already.

Cartman looked surprised. "You? Who was it? Stan?"

Wendy looked away.

"No way. You had sex with someone while you were _with Stan_? The guy you've been with since third grade?" Cartman exclaimed.

Again Wendy said nothing. Her face was red, but not from embarrassment, from shame.

"You cannot tell anyone. Especially Stan. It'd crush him!" Wendy hurriedly shut him up, "It was just a mistake. I had a few drinks that night, I wasn't thinking…"

"Who was it?" Cartman asked eagerly.

Wendy couldn't bring herself to look at Cartman when she spoke. "…Kenny."

Cartman looked shocked. "Bloody hell, ho. I didn't know you had it in you!"

"That's why you can't tell Stan. It'd ruin him forever if he knew I had sex with one of his best friends…he and Kenny, they're practically like brothers. You all are."

"Well… I can't make any promises there, ho… but." Cartman said, with an evil glint in his eye.

Wendy's own eyes grew wide, "Cartman, _please_! For the love of God, don't tell him. I-I'll do anything for you if you just keep your mouth shut!" she said frantically.

Cartman stared at her for a few moments. Wendy could practically hear the clogs in his head turning, thinking of ways to blackmail her in the future.

"Fine. I won't tell him," Cartman started to say. Wendy looked relieved. "But," he continued, "there is one thing I want you to do for me."

"W-what?"

Cartman moved closer to her, knocking the glasses out of the way, so their faces were almost touching. "Kiss me."

Wendy looked appalled. "What?! Cartman, I'm not kissing you!" she didn't care if she didn't win Bebe's stupid bet, but there was no way she was cheating on Stan again, especially with the likes of Cartman, her enemy.

Cartman smirked. He stood up, "Well, looks like our deal is off then. If you don't mind me, I just have to go and find Stan, I feel like I need to tell him something…something to do with the fact that his girlfriend cheated on him. Then she practically threw herself on me, trying to make out with me. I'm sure he'd be _very_ interested to know that."

Wendy was furious. She stood up, her hands balled into fists at her side as she glared at Cartman. "You _asshole_. That's a dirty lie."

"Who would he believe, you, his girlfriend who cheated on him, or his best friend who is only trying to look out for him?" Cartman had her cornered.

Wendy fumed. She was stuck, he knew it, too, and she _hated_ it.

Just as Cartman was about to walk away, Wendy grabbed him by the arm and pressed him against the wall of the basement, their lips smashing together furiously.

Cartman was completely shocked by Wendy's angry but bold move, and the two quickly began to battle for dominance in their make out session.

"You dirty, dirty, ho… I never knew you had it in you." Cartman smirked as he broke free from Wendy's grasp.

Wendy smiled viciously at him, this time she was the one pinned against the wall of the basement. "There's a lot you don't know about me, Cartman," she panted. She raised an eyebrow as she looked into his eyes and said, "Care to take this somewhere more… private?"

Cartman smiled evilly at her, "sure thing, ho."

Wendy smirked and led the way to the guest bedroom in the basement. Luckily there was no one in there already, and she and Cartman entered the room together. Closing the door behind him, Cartman turned to find the raven-haired girl lying suggestively across the huge queen sized bed.

Cartman grinned victoriously, as he made his way toward the bed, and climbed on top of Wendy, ready to claim his woman.

"And you say you never knew I had it in me," Wendy simply smirked up at him.

"I say a lot of things I don't mean, bitch," he said, as he moved in to kiss her.

"Shut up, Fatass."

"Make me, ho."

The next morning, Wendy woke up with a searing headache. She didn't remember much from last night, except that she was with Cartman. As she rolled over in bed, she felt an arm trap her around her waist.

Wendy glanced over her shoulder to see Cartman sleeping silently beside her. She smiled and let him keep his hold on her, as she reached for her phone on the bedside table.

There were many missed texts and phone calls she'd received from last night. Besides from a message from her mother asking where she was, Stan had called her twelve times, Kyle had called her twice, and there were a couple of texts from Bebe.

Wendy frowned, ignoring the other notifications on her phone and opening the messages from Bebe.

Her eyes grew wide as she saw that they were photos from last night—of her and Cartman.

Bebe had written underneath them, _"Looks like you had a great time last night, Testaburger! Oh, and I already took the liberty of posting them on Facebook for you. Now everyone knows you cheated on Stan, he was crushed. Don't worry though; he's over at my house now for some much needed comfort. Anyways, have a nice day!"_

Wendy stared at her phone for a minute, before screaming, "Bebe Stevens! You absolute fucking _son of a bitch_!"

* * *

 **i apologise for making bebe to be such a bitch in this chapter, but i couldn't help myself...anyway, i hope you enjoyed this nonetheless! Oh, and to the guest reviewer who was asking for my a03 account name, it's the same as my FF username :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**this is part one of an idea i had just the other day, i hope you enjoy it :) and i forgot to mention, they're in seventh grade in this chapter!**

* * *

"How's that Cartman boy going?"

That question completely caught Wendy off guard. She looked over at her mother with an appalled expression before saying, "Mum! What do you mean 'how's that Cartman boy going?' the last time I spoke to him I practically put him in hospital!"

Mrs Testaburger chuckled at her daughter's response. While keeping her eyes on the road, she continued, "I just happened to run into Mrs Cartman at the grocery store a few days ago. She was asking about you as well - she also mentioned that Eric speaks of you quite a lot," her mother said, and Wendy noticed she had a small smile on her face while she spoke.

Wendy was speechless. Why on earth would Eric Cartman be talking about his arch-rival (one of them, at least) to his mother?

"What else did Mrs Cartman have to say?" Wendy inquired, trying not to sound the least bit interested. This _was_ Cartman they were talking about, after all.

At the red light, Mrs Testaburger glanced at her daughter with a knowing look on her face. "Well, she mentioned something about you two having a play-date."

"Mum, you didn't - " Wendy started to say.

" - And I agreed that it would be good for you both to spend some more time together, so Mrs Cartman invited us both over on Saturday for afternoon tea."

"But mum, I _can't_! I promised Bebe I'd - " Wendy quickly mustered up an excuse, but unfortunately, her mother wasn't having any of it.

"No buts, Wendy. We're going over and that's final." Mrs Testaburger replied curtly as they pulled into the driveway of their home.

Wendy slumped.

As if her weekend couldn't get any worse.

* * *

The following night, Wendy found herself sprawled on her stomach on Bebe's bedroom floor, finishing the last of their homework for the week. She was haphazardly flicking through the pages of her math textbook, humming to herself quietly as Bebe typed away on her computer, trying to finish an overdue English essay.

"Come _on_ , Wen... I personally think you're being overly dramatic about this whole situation, as per usual." Bebe said, not taking her eyes off the word document in front of her. She leant back in her office chair, and flicked some of her blonde curls over her shoulder.

Wendy's mini daydream was interrupted and she stopped flicking. "I am not being overly dramatic! This is _Cartman_ we're talking about - the one who I put in hospital when he was being a total dick about breast cancer awareness. And I'm the one who's gonna have to put up with him tomorrow afternoon, whether I like it or not."

Bebe spun around and gave Wendy a certain look, before bursting out laughing.  
Wendy had no idea what could possibly be so funny. "What are you laughing at?"

Bebe calmed down a few moments later, "Sorry, it's just that you're the one who claims to be dreading this so called _play-date_ , but you keep going on about it _and_ Cartman all the damn time. Jesus Christ woman, either you love him or you hate him, just make up your bloody mind!" and with that, she turned her attention back to the computer screen and continued to type away like it was nothing.

Wendy was absolutely gobsmacked. Before she could even say anything, a voice called for her from outside Bebe's bedroom, "Wendy! Your mother called and said she wants you home for dinner in 20 minutes!"

Wendy took this opportunity to leave as quickly as she could, she gathered her things and rushed out of her best friend's bedroom and hurried down the stairs. "Thanks Mrs Stevens! See you later!"

She needed to get home - her mind was reeling.

* * *

The dreaded 'd-day' finally arrived, and Wendy found herself standing in the middle of her bedroom, looking at her reflection in her full-length mirror. This was crazy. Why was she so concerned about what she wore, when it was only Cartman she was seeing? Why was she so nervous the whole morning, that her mother was worried she'd come down with something because her hands couldn't stop shaking when she ate her breakfast?

Wendy let out a frustrated groan and flopped down on her bed. This was impossible. She had no idea why she felt so queasy.

"Wendy! Are you ready yet? We're leaving in 10!" her mother yelled from outside her bedroom door.

Wendy quickly sat up. "Uh yeah, just getting dressed!"

She looked between the two choices of outfits she'd laid out, and decided to go with a black plaid skirt and tights with her winter boots, and a pink fur coat with her usual hat, which she had worn since 3rd grade.

Wendy quickly hurried downstairs to join her mother at the front door. Her mum smiled upon seeing her. "Why, don't you look nice?" Wendy took notice of the twinkle in her mother's eyes as she complimented her daughter's choice of clothing.

Wendy grumbled in response.  
"Yeah, yeah. Let's just get this over with."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, the two Testaburger women found themselves standing on the front porch of the Cartman residence.

After the second ring, Mrs Cartman answered the door. She smiled brilliantly as she saw Wendy and Mrs Testaburger. "Welcome, so glad you two could make it! I was just in the kitchen baking some double chocolate chip cookies - they're Eric's favourite," she added, still smiling. She stepped aside to let them in, "Please, do come in."

"Thank you so much, Liane," Mrs Testaburger said politely.

Wendy stepped forward. "Hello, Mrs Cartman. It was awfully nice of you to invite us over today." She said through a pained smile, though the beaming Liane Cartman was completely oblivious.

"Oh you're too sweet! My little Eric is upstairs in his room if you'd like to go and say hi," she informed Wendy with that same knowing look as her mother. "First door on the right."

"Thank you," Wendy said once again, and started to walk up the short flight of stairs to the second floor. She glanced over her shoulder briefly to see her mother and Liane whispering and giggling profusely like little school girls.

Wendy sighed heavily.  
This was going to be a long day.

She found the resident Fatass sitting at his computer, playing some sort of video game with a headset on.

Wendy smirked as she snuck up behind him, getting as close as she could, before yelling, "OI, FATASS!"

Cartman jumped in his seat, smashing his fists on the keyboard causing him to lose the game he was playing. With a look of fury, he turned around to find Wendy almost inches from his face, smirking victoriously with her hands on her hips.

"Aye, bitch! I'm not fat, I'm big boned!" Cartman retorted angrily, glaring at the raven haired girl standing before him. "What're you doing here, anyway?"

Wendy just gave him a look. "Your mother invited me and my mum over today, in case you didn't get the memo."

"Aw, man! I don't need any hippie democrats ruining this fine republican establishment." Cartman smiled as he saw the look on Wendy's face that he was very familiar with.

"Oh fuck off, Cartman. I'm not putting up with your bullshit today, especially since I was forced to come here beyond my will."

Cartman hopped down from his chair. "You think I want you here any more than you do? This was my bitch mum's idea."

"Eric! Don't talk about your mother like that!" Wendy chastised him.

Cartman raised an eyebrow at her.

"What?"

"You do realise you just called me Eric."

"Oh, I guess I did." Wendy fell silent for a moment. She examined Eric's - _Cartman's_ bedroom. There were several posters of Hitler stuck up on his walls, a swastika directly above his bed, and lots of pro-white supremacist rally posters as well. Everything that made Wendy's blood boil was there.

Cartman saw her narrowed eyes as she looked at all the posters and grinned. "Like them? I put them up _especially_ for you."

Taking two quick steps, she easily covered the distance between her and Cartman. She glared heavily at him, her hands balled into fists at her side.

They both stood there, staring at each other for a few moments - Wendy's eyes filled with hatred.

"Oh, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Mrs Cartman appeared in her son's bedroom doorway.

As quick as a flash, Wendy turned to her with a smile on her face. "Oh no, not at all, Mrs Cartman... Car-I mean Eric and I were just talking." She threw an arm around Eric's shoulders to make it look like they were getting along.

Mrs Cartman smiled, "Oh, how sweet. I just came up to see if you two wanted any cookies, they're fresh out of the oven. Double chocolate chip, just for you."

" _Sweeeet_." Cartman drawled, and waddled after his mother as he followed her downstairs. He stopped in the doorway, and turned to face Wendy. "You coming?"

Wendy sighed. "I suppose."

She walked right past Cartman, who, oddly enough, let her walk out first. As surprising as this gesture from someone like Eric was, she was still caught off guard when they reached the landing of the stairs.

Just as they were about to walk down, he leaned over behind her, and whispered, "You better watch your back today, ho."

* * *

 **and I am back, at last. I do apologise for the wait, but unfortunately my uni work got in the way..anyways, i hope you liked this chapter, the second part will be out within due time :) as always, thanks for reading!**


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